You may not be her first, her last, or her only.
She loved before, she may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the
two of you may never be perfect together
but if she can make you laugh, cause you to
think twice, and admit to being human and
making mistakes, hold onto her and give
her the most you can. She may not be
thinking about you every second of the day,
but she will give you a part of her that she
knows you can break - her heart. So don't
hurt her, don't change her, don't analyse
and expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy, let her
know when she makes you mad, and
miss her when she's not there.

Bob Marley.
Jay is still standing @ 12:26 PM (0) comments

Test

Jay is still standing @ 3:41 PM (0) comments

Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears. In the end that's all there is: love and its duty, sorrow and its truth. In the end that's all we have - to hold on tight until dawn.
Jay is still standing @ 8:38 PM (0) comments

All along I was searching for my Lenore, in the words of Mr. Edgar Allan Poe. Now I'm sober and nevermore will the raven come to bother me at home.
Jay is still standing @ 5:48 PM (0) comments

Case 1: A family, who had just moved here from China, had resorted to mediation because they could not stand the smell of curry that their Singaporean Indian neighbours would often cook. The Indian family, who were mindful of their neighbour's aversion, had already taken to closing their doors and windows whenever they cooked the dish, but this was not enough.

"They said: 'Can you please do something? Can you don't cook curry? Can you don't eat curry?'," said Madam Marcellina Giam, a Community Mediation Centre mediator. But the Indian family stood firm. In the end, Mdm Giam got the Indian family to agree to cook curry only when the Chinese family was not home. In return, they wanted their Chinese neighbours to at least give their dish a try.



You are joking, right?

Jay is still standing @ 10:46 AM (0) comments

"It was twilight with robots running around" - Amrita Das on Transformers: Dark Side of The Moon.
Jay is still standing @ 3:36 PM (0) comments

"At first, when we truly love someone, our greatest fear is that the love one will stop loving us. What we should fear and dread, of course, is that we won't stop loving them, even after they're dead and gone. For I still love you with the whole of my heart, Prabaker. I still love you. And sometimes, my friend, the love that I have, and can't give to you, crushes the breath from my chest. Sometimes, even now, my heart is drowning in a sorrow that has no stars without you, and no laughter, and no sleep."

Shantaram page 629.



This one is for you Jeevan.
Rest in peace.
Jay is still standing @ 5:08 AM (0) comments

A figment of my imagination.
A waking dream.
A living nightmare.
Jay is still standing @ 7:48 AM (0) comments

Erratum
Some people have mistaken my post on the 30th of may to be a personal attack. Yes you are right, it is a personal attack, one direct towards me. It is a self reflection and self critique of the life I live, and the past I had. Looking back at that post, I can see why people are mislead and I apologise for that. It looks as thou I am blaming a certain persona non grata for my lack of posting when that was really not my intent.


If you want an example of a personal attack here's an example:
"At first I Chose to ignore him and because HE continues to act out like a child and go around spreading rumors, just means i have to retaliate especially when it involves the people around me, this person has to learn to stop bullshitting and involving me in HIS personal problems. Because my conscience is clear, i did my best in the relationship and i gave it my all to the very last bit till he gave up, despite my attempts on salvaging it many times for him again and again, that tore me apart on the inside. So i've moved on cause I know i deserve SO much better than him, and i thank my lucky stars that I've found someone who truly loves me for who i am and what i can give to the relationship that we have now. Unlike someone who treated me like a gold prize to be seen and not heard, to be used and taken for granted. And so again, i say to this boy, keep me out of your spiteful words, do not involve me in your childish games, i wish not to hear it or see it, because I'm finally smiling and truly happy after a long long time. If you wish to BLOG about your life, Keep me out of it, or alot more than just rumors will come out from me. Understood boy, hear me loud and clear!"



It should have been been more like why did I ever stop writing bla bla bla...

THEN going on to the main post: Why did I ever stop? Did I lose myself along the way?

I am blaming myself for my mistakes and shortcomings, not anyone else. It is the only way I learn and I'm not proud of my mistakes - and believe me I have made many, but I admit them. This post is about me, not about anyone else. These are my mistakes.

I don't believe in slagging people off, much less so on the internet. Any friend of mine worth his salt would know that about me. I am better than that and I wont succumb to that level.

And so I leave you with a song. Your violence is beautiful and your centre sweet, now tell me dear do you know where we'd meet?



Jay is still standing @ 6:10 PM (0) comments

And so project365 begins.
Jay is still standing @ 6:53 PM (0) comments

Project 365
I was looking through my computer a realised I barely take photos like I used to. Looking back at like 2007 & 2008, there were so many folders in each of these years - about 5 for each month. Looking at 2011 and mind you we are already half way through, I only have 3 albums. Whatever happened to me?

Time for a reboot methinks. And what better way to start, than with a year of my life, chronicled everyday in photos. Project365: June 1st 2011-May 31st 2012.
Jay is still standing @ 6:28 PM (0) comments

Maybe I should write again, maybe I should chronicle my life in photographs again. Why did I ever stop? I used to enjoy writing so much. I never cared if anyone read it or not, these words were for me and me alone. They always were.
Why did I ever stop? Did I get lost along the way? I suppose I did. Did I fall in love with someone else and forgot to love myself? I did. Was I torn apart between two world, between what I had always wanted to be, and what I was becoming? I did. Did I lose myself? Yes. Did I end up hurting myself and the one I loved? Yes.

I there is one thing I have learnt from this relationship is that even if it is to make them happy, never lie to the ones you love. It will only break their heart in the end. And most importantly, don't lie to yourself.

Karma - most of us get the meaning of the concept of Karma wrong. We all think of it as what goes around comes around but in actual fact, it has nothing to do with that at all.
Karma in its purest sense means duty. We all have our duties. I have a duty as a son, as a brother and as a friend. Forget your duty, and watch the sleepless nights unfold.

I will never make that mistake again.

So here I am once again in this savage garden we have for a world, a little stronger and maybe a little wiser.

This is my life, chronicled one second at a time.

Ferox, in finem.
Jay is still standing @ 9:39 PM (1) comments

Cause I've been caught in between all you wish for, and all you need.
Maybe you're not even sure what it's for, any more than me.
May god's love be with you, always.
Jay is still standing @ 4:07 AM (0) comments

Like a pool of moonlit water it was. Touch it even with the fingertip and all its life rises to the surface, only to vanish in quiet once again.
Jay is still standing @ 9:49 PM (0) comments

If the elephants have past lives yet are destined to always remember
It's no wonder how they scream
Like you and I they must have some temper

And I am dreaming of them on the plains
Dirtying up their beds
Watching for some sign of rain to cool their hot heads

And how dare that you send me that card when I'm doing all that I can do
You are forcing me to remember when all I want is to just forget you

If the tiger shall protect her young then tell me how did you slip by
All my instincts have failed me for once
I must have somehow slept the whole night

And I am dreaming of them with their kill
Tearing it all apart
Blood dripping from their lips and teeth sinking into heart

And how dare that you say you'll call
When you know I need some peace of mind
If you have to take sides with the animals
Won't you do it with one who is kind

And if the hawks in the trees need the dead
If you're living you don't stand a chance
For a time though you share the same bed
There are only two ends to this dance

You can flee with your wounds just in time or lie there as he feeds
Watching yourself ripped to shreds and laughing as you bleed

So for those of you falling in love keep it kind
Keep it good
Keep it right
Throw yourself in the midst of danger, but keep one eye open at night

Jay is still standing @ 7:09 PM (0) comments